Death Warrior (1984)

DEATH WARRIOR (84) aka Olum Savascisi. Holy sweet screaming mother of Jesus! Here is undoubtedly the trashiest, craziest, most insanely obscure and ludicrous Turco freak out of them all. Anybody’s guess as to how many zero budget horror/action/kung fu/ninja movies this monstrosity was stitched together from but the end result makes even the worst Godfrey Ho cut and paster look like a model of continuity by comparison. One minute hooded ninjas with giant plywood swords are running around people’s backyards in broad daylight drowning women in swimming pools, the next Cuneyt Arkin’s going mano a mano with some acrobatically impaired martial artiste in an open field. Then the camera’s flying through the woods ala The Evil Dead, people are racing around kicking each other off the backs of motorcycles, some guy gets killed with a playing card to the neck, there are killer plants and a furry handed mummy ninja, Arkin’s attacked by a woman who turns into a killer toad, and on and on and on until you’re certain your head’s going to explode... but in a good way. We fully expected it all to end in a giant stock footage nuclear fireball but that would’ve been too easy! Just wait until you see what they came up with instead! Ho! Ho! Seriously folks, not only do we implore you to buy this thing but we also recommend that before watching it you swing by the local grade school and buy a couple of fatties from some skater kid ‘cuz this one’s worth going off your sobriety for.