Private Meredith Bixby is so out of step in the Army that his six weeks of planned basic training has now stretched to 17 months. After he loses a tank, WAC Major Shelton, a psychologist, is assigned to make a good soldier out of him. She requests Corporal Dolan and Private Stan Wensalawsky to help with the training. Dolan and Stan both have scores to settle with Bixby and their "guidance" leads to more mishaps. Sergeant Pulley has them shipped out to Morocco. On leave in North Africa, Bixy wanders alone into a bar, has a few Moroccan Delights, which he thinks are malted milks, and becomes convinced that exotic singer-dancer Zita is THE girl for him.

Gringo miner Gallager is caught up in the Mexican revolution of 1910-11 when corrupt administrator Ruiz appropriates his mine. Gallager saves the life of guerilla leader Raquel, then finds there's a price on his head; he becomes romantically involved with her in the course of a series of rescues and ambushes, leading up to Orozco's march on Ciudad Juarez.

An Italian daredevil turns Grand Prix driver and works his way up to Le Mans with his ballerina lover.

A teenager's parents finally realize how bad their home life is when their son is arrested for prowling.

Roman centurion Marcian is captured by Attila the Hun en route to Constantinople, but escapes. On arrival, he finds the eastern Roman emperor Theodosius plotting with Attila to look the other way while the latter marches against Rome. But Marcian gains the favor of Pulcheria, lovely sister of Theodosius, who favors a united Empire.

A poor country girl from Vermont travels to New York City to attend a theatrical school.

Austrian actor Franz Huber, known for his impressions, is captured by the Gestapo and forced into plastic surgery to become Hitler's body double. Their plan is to poison Hitler and use Huber to take control of the Reich. Meanwhile, Huber's wife Anna sees her life coming undone as her husband has disappeared and her two sons are indoctrinated into the Hitler Youth.

Two bumbling plumbers are hired by a socialite to fix a leak. A case of mistaken identity gets the pair an invitation to a fancy party and an entree into high society. As expected, things don't go too smoothly.