Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer has been reinstated and assigned to command the 7th Cavalry Regiment at Fort Hays. The regiment has become a ragtag outfit of thieves and ruffians and Custer must whip the soldiers into shape to fight, the Kiowa, Sioux and Blackfoot tribes who confront them. These tribes are being supplied shotguns by a white gunrunner and Custer and his men must rescue General Terry and the Fifth Cavalry Regiment from annihilation when they are ambushed and trapped by a large Kiowa war party.

As ratings for Jack Crandall's lifeless airborne traffic reports plummet, a super-size St. Bernard on the lam stows away in his chopper. Crandall's new co-pilot helps send ratings sky-high, but the canine's chronic kleptomania generates girl trouble, jewel thievery, and loads of laughs.

An artist has an opportunity to go to Paris and wants to bring his fiancee along. However, she's a psychiatrist who currently has three female patients who don't like men. So, he guises himself as three different men to gauge their trust and hopefully cure them so that his fiancee can go with him.