Two alcoholic escorts suddenly find themselves involved with a hit gang and an ax murderer.

Richie and Eddie are in charge of the worst hotel in the UK, Guest House Paradiso, neighbouring a nuclear power plant. The illegal immigrant chef has fled and all the guests have gone. But when a famous Italian filmstar, Gina Carbonara, who is in hiding from a fiance she doesn't want to marry, arrives at the hotel, things get very interesting!

A documentary crew films heavy metal band Bad News as they have trouble starting their van, pick up a schoolgirl groupie, and meet up with rock chick journalist Sally at a motorway service station where they argue about the cost of sausage and chips. Finally, after the van has broken down, they reach the venue for their gig, the Roxy in Grantham, where, after playing to a handful of unappreciative onlookers, they end up brawling. Written by don @ minifie-1