Dan Frazier is a U. S. Border Patrolman on the California-Mexico border whose hot temper and ready-fists keep him in trouble, both of which indirectly lead to the death of a fellow trooper. He resigns from the force in order to find out who was responsible. He believes it was a gang of smugglers, engaged in smuggling illegal aliens into the United States from Mexico, and in order to get inside the gang he fakes smuggling activities.

A series of wacky vignettes involving farm animals.

Cinderella goes to the ball, where she meets Prince Charming (Egghead).

In this Ripley's Believe It or Not! parody, some of the supposed curiosities we are shown are a man who daily drinks fifty quarts of milk, the world's loudest hog caller, a human basketball, a new giant telescope showing life on Mars, and a man who saws people in half.

Literary characters come to life late at night in a bookshop, serenading Sniffles the mouse with swing music until the Frankenstein monster intrudes.

The audience enters Porky's movie theater, with a collection of quick gags: A firefly acting as usher, a kangaroo taking tickets and putting the stubs in her pouch, a chicken buying child tickets for her eggs. A skunk tries to buy a ticket, costing a nickel, but he only has one scent. He looks for a way to sneak in. Meanwhile, Porky introduces the show: a collection of cartoons, drawn as stick figures. At the end, the audience is all gone because the skunk managed to sneak in. Porky's cartoons include: Circus Parade, Choo-Choo Train, Soldiers (Marchin), Horse Race, and Dances (hula, Mexican hat, and ballet). All accompanied by a self-parody musical score.

Joe Weller has instigated a conflict over water rights between two ranchers. The idea is to have the ranchers do each other in then move in and take over. Hoppy and the good guys won't let this happen.

An evening at a night club for penguins, (and a walrus or two). The stage show includes an appearance by a penguin incarnation of Bing Crosby, who sings a jazzy version of, "When my dreamboat comes home". The band's three singers do a scat version as well. This is followed by a full swing band instrumental of the song which works the band into a "Hot Jazz" frenzy, literaly melting some of the instruments.

Dagwood Bumstead must receive a college diploma or lose his job with the Dithers Construction Company. Not wishing to be separated from her husband, Blondie enrolls in college as well. But Leighton College rules stipulate "No Married Couples", forcing Blondie and Dagwood to pretend that they're not married. This causes quite a dilemma when coed Laura Wadsworth begins flirting with Dagwood and Rusty Bryant does the same with Blondie. And Blondie's discovery of a very pleasant secret threatens to expose her and Dagwood's marital status too.

Billboards come to life. Eddie Camphor and his "wioleen" player Rub-Him-Off do a song and dance to "Merrily We Roll Along" with new lyrics...