Full of Mind - 毕业以后，我还没准备好长大

主播 小果汁 “我也不知道，我现在算什么。”这是很多刚毕业一两年的年轻人，在咨询室里会说出的同一句话。学校的身份没了，熟悉的人散到了不同的城市，社会上好像也没有哪个位置，是专门留给“还在路上”的人的。这一期，我们借发展心理学和精神分析的视角，一起聊聊这段“被默认已经长大”的日子：它从哪里来，人在里面会经历什么，以及我们可以怎样重新理解“长大”这件事。 [00:08] 毕业了，我现在算什么？ [03:22] 心里还没长大，正常吗？ [11:09] 该自己硬撑，还是退回父母身边？ [17:48] 总觉得对自己不满意，很内耗？ [22:51] 越需要帮助越难开口，怎么办？ [28:52] 一回家就焦虑，这对吗？ [32:04] 怎样才算真正长大？ 链接 关于我 联系我们 hi@fom.fm 订阅方式 参考资料 陶喆（2002）《二十二》，收录于专辑《黑色柳丁》 《从“青”守护、向“心”而行，2026世界精神卫生日绿丝带系列活动举办》，2026-10-12。 Hall, G. S. (1904). Adolescence: Its Psychology and Its Relations to Physiology, Anthropology, Sociology, Sex, Crime, Religion and Education (Vols. 1–2). D. Appleton. Hochberg, Z., & Konner, M. (2020). Emerging adulthood, a pre-adult life-history stage. Frontiers in Endocrinology , 10, 918. https://doi.org/10.3389/fendo.2019.00918 Sawyer, S. M., Azzopardi, P. S., Wickremarathne, D., & Patton, G. C. (2018). The age of adolescence. The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health , 2(3), 223–228. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2352-4642(18)30022-1 Bernfeld, S. (1923). Über eine typische Form der männlichen Pubertät. Imago , 9, 169–188. Blos, P. (1954). Prolonged adolescence: The formulation of a syndrome and its therapeutic implications. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry , 24(4), 733–742. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1939-0025.1954.tb06143.x Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist , 55(5), 469–480. Arnett, J. J. (2004). Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties . Oxford University Press. Kierkegaard, S. (1844). Begrebet Angest . Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and Crisis . W. W. Norton. Marcia, J. E. (1966). Development and validation of ego-identity status. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 3(5), 551–558. Winnicott, D. W. (1960). The theory of the parent-infant relationship. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis , 41, 585–595. Bowlby, J. (1969/1973). Attachment and Loss . Vol. 1: Attachment ; Vol. 2: Separation . Hogarth Press. Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development . Basic Books. Piers, G., & Singer, M. B. (1953). Shame and Guilt: A Psychoanalytic and a Cultural Study . Charles C Thomas. Freud, S. (1917). Trauer und Melancholie. Internationale Zeitschrift für ärztliche Psychoanalyse , 4(6), 288–301. Lewis, H. B. (1971). Shame and Guilt in Neurosis . International Universities Press. Winnicott, D. W. (1960). Ego distortion in terms of true and false self. In The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment (1965), pp. 140–152. Hogarth Press. Neugarten, B. L., Moore, J. W., & Lowe, J. C. (1965). Age norms, age constraints, and adult socialization. American Journal of Sociology , 70(6), 710–717. Yan, Y. (2016). Intergenerational intimacy and descending familism in rural North China. American Anthropologist , 118(2), 244–257. Fairbairn, W. R. D. (1941). A revised psychopathology of the psychoses and psychoneuroses. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis , 22, 250–279. Winnicott, D. W. (1958). The capacity to be alone. International Journal of Psycho-Analysis , 39, 416–420.