3C

• "Can you do the job well?" (Are you competent?)
• "Are you excited to be here?" (Are you committed?)
• "Do you get along with us?" (Are you compatible?)

To show competence is to show that you can get the job done fully, accurately, and promptly without needing to be micromanaged.

To show commitment is to show that you are fully present and eager to help the team achieve its goals (but not so eager that you put others on the defensive).

To show compatibility is to make others comfortable and eager to be around you. Link

Applies to:

• Preparing for interviews
• Self checkins

The struggle with commitment is the same as the struggle with competence: perception and reality don’t always align. Just because you are committed doesn’t mean people perceive you to be committed. Sometimes, little actions like showing up late, looking away on video chat, not volunteering for tasks, not speaking up enough, or not replying to emails as quickly as your coworkers do can be enough to cast doubt on how committed you are. Link

Show Commitment by Being Proactive

For others, it may be worthwhile to be more entitled: If you want it, strive for it. If you aren’t sure you can have it, ask for it.

It comes down to showing commitment without compromising your compatibility. You want to communicate that you are ready to learn and help—that you are ready and eager for more. The more people see that you want to improve yourself, the more they will want to help you improve. The more you demonstrate that you want to rise above your circumstances, the more people will want to help you do it. Link

Tell yourself: if you want more than the bare minimum, you’ll need to do more than the bare minimum. Link

It can feel awkward to bother your busy coworkers, but consider this: your success is in everyone’s interest—and you can succeed only if you are set up for success. You aren’t being annoying. You’re demonstrating your commitment. Link

herein lies a key difference between school and work: school is about keeping up; work is about stepping up. In school, you are rewarded for following instructions—simply show up to class, listen, read the textbook, and submit your homework by the deadline and you’ll be a star. In the workplace, there is no syllabus, no textbook, no clearly numbered list of homework problems to complete. Sometimes, people are so busy meeting their own deadlines that they may not even notice that a new member of the team has shown up. And sometimes, despite their best intentions to set you up for success, even the best of managers can look forgetful and uncaring when their own managers summon them for that surprise meeting minutes before you arrive. The result? The workplace favors the proactive. If no one steps up to help you, step up and help yourself. Link

Mindset: "Let's give this a shot"

Opportunities will come your way all the time. Career success depends on your ability to identify and seize the right opportunities. The secret ingredient? The mindset of “Let’s give this a shot.” Link**

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” Link

The worst thing that could happen is probably not that bad. If the worst-case scenario is the other person says “no,” your fear is really a fear of judgment—not a fear of danger. Leave it to other people to tell you “no.” Don’t limit yourself before you’ve even given yourself a chance. Link

Ask Good Questions

How “good” your question is depends on how well you can convince your listener that you couldn’t have answered it on your own. The trick is the unspoken rule of do—and show—your homework: explain where your question is coming from before asking the question itself. So, instead of just asking your question, try going with the structure of “Here’s my question, and here’s why I’m asking this question.” Or, “Here’s what I know, and here’s what I don’t know,” as seen in figure 3-3. Link

![[Figure_3_3.png]]

Remember: people can’t read your mind. It’s like in school—you need to show your work to get partial credit. If you’ve taken the time to fill in the blanks from earlier in this chapter, you might as well cash in that hard work for some well-earned competence and commitment points. There’s also an added bonus, according to the chief of staff at a financial technology startup: The more you ask good questions early, the more leeway you get to ask bad questions later. Link

Take Ownership

Checklist when sharing work:

• If you aren’t sure what to do next, give others something to react to, e.g.
  • I’m not sure what to do next, but I was thinking of [x] or [y]. I suggest [x] because [x]. Do you feel differently?
  • Whenever possible, avoid open-ended questions like “What do you think?”. Instead, try a multiple-choice question (e.g., “Which do you prefer: A, B, or C?”), a yes-or-no question (e.g., “May I move ahead with this plan?”), or a default (e.g., “I plan to do [x]; let me know if you’d prefer a different approach”).
• If you are making decisions, see the big picture and play out the consequences
• If you see a problem, be proactive and flag (or even solve) it
• If others help you, make them look and feel good
• Have I followed all directions I’ve been given (or noted why I didn’t)?
• Have I focused on the details that matter?
• Do I have a clear call to action?
• Have I prepared answers to the questions my manager might ask? Think multiple steps ahead: put yourself in the shoes of your reviewer and ask yourself, What questions would I have if I were them?
• Have I figured out (and shared) what I plan to do next?

The more you establish a pattern of not just passing information along, but of adding your point of view, the more managers will trust your judgment and competence—and the more leeway you will be given to solve problems independently in the future. Link

To stay above expectations, keep a list of all suggestions and changes you’ve received and, before sharing your work, check that list again. If there is something that you couldn’t do or that wasn’t feasible, share it up front with a disclaimer. Link

These can all be subtle but effective ways to manage expectations, show that you were listening, and signal that you are anticipating your manager’s questions. Remember for your manager: doing so can help you build a reputation as someone who won’t let promises slip just because no one’s paying attention. Link

If you write a blog post for the company, share it with your team, and say something vague like “Thoughts?” the feedback you get might be equally vague: “It’s too long,” “I don’t like the image at the top,” or “The grammar is off in the second paragraph.” If you were only interested in knowing whether you selected the right topic for the blog, then all of this feedback is likely to be a waste of time.

To prevent others from getting distracted—and potentially giving you feedback you don’t need—ask yourself: What do I want others to focus on—and not focus on? Then be explicit in your call to action with a question like, “I just wrote a first draft—please see attached. Is this the right topic and framing? Don’t worry about formatting or grammar—I will fix it after nailing down the broad theme.” Link

Be prepared to share the different options you considered, along with why you chose one option over another. This is your chance to show how competent you are in making the right decisions. The highest performers don’t answer with “That’s a good question. I haven’t thought about it before.” They always have a reason for why they did what they did. Link

It’s a progression: you go from asking, “I’m going to do this—is that OK?” to saying, “I took care of it.” Your supervisor is still with you, but your relationship with them changes. They are no longer your drill instructor telling you what to do. They become your coach, giving feedback and helping you grow. Ownership isn’t about being independent. It’s about taking responsibility. And taking responsibility includes knowing when you need to ask for help. Link

the responsibility will come—and people who once were waiting for you will now rely on your opinion and, above all, your leadership. The more comfortable you are with embracing such a mindset shift, the sooner people will be convinced of your competence—and the sooner you’ll be able to make an impact. Link

If you are sharing something complicated, start with your main point and limit yourself to three supporting points. Link

If you are making multiple points or talking for a long time, pause occasionally and let others comment or ask questions before moving on. Link

Prioritise Your Workload

The tension between what you find important and what others find important Link ![[Figure_09-04.jpg]]

Promotable tasks are those that help you get ahead because the higher-ups care about them, whether it’s building new features in a product or making the company money.

Nonpromotable tasks, also known as “office housework,” are tasks like taking notes for other people, ordering lunch for a meeting, and organizing social events. These kinds of tasks might contribute to the greater good, but they don’t necessarily help your career Link

Read between the People

Do meetings or decisions always have to go through a particular person? You may have found a gatekeeper. Is someone always invited to meetings, asked for their opinion, or brought up as someone you should talk to? You may have found a veteran, expert, or socialite. Does your manager always reference the opinion of a particular colleague? You may have found an adviser.

Once you’ve found an influencer, introduce yourself to them. Get to know them. And though it’s important to be nice to everyone, be especially gracious with them. Link

John, Ian, etc.

Be mindful of invisible chains of command, swimlanes (who does what and when), comfort zones, and loyalties. Know who reports to whom, who is responsible for what, and who has leverage (power) over whom. Identify who the influencers are. Be aware of behavior that people find acceptable and unacceptable. Keep people consulted and informed. Make others look and feel good. Know when to step up and when you may be overstepping. Link

Build and Manage Professional Relationships

The first time you do anything is always uncomfortable. The second time is always easier. Building professional relationships comes down to finding excuses to spark that first interaction, then finding small ways to sustain the momentum. Link

FOR PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW AND CAN’T BE INTRODUCED TO. Consider sending a cold email. Here’s an example.

Hi _________, My name is _________ and I am a fellow _________. Hope you are doing well.

I am currently looking to transition from _________ to _________ and came across your profile on _________, which spoke to me because, like you, I also _________.

I was wondering if you might have a few minutes in the coming days/weeks to share your experience with me over the phone? My availability is as follows (all times PT):

Tue 10/27: before 2 p.m., after 3 p.m.

Wed 10/28: anytime Thu 10/29: before 2 p.m., 3–4 p.m.

Fri 10/30: anytime

No worries if I caught you at a bad time—let me know either way.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Link

A good test is to ask yourself, Would my email still make sense if I sent it to the wrong person? If the answer is yes, your email isn’t customized enough—and your recipient will likely ignore you out of a suspicion that you spammed a dozen other people with the same message. Link

Ask how things are going. A simple question like “How was your trip?” or “How did _________ end up going?” can be an easy way to signal that you were paying attention and that you care.

Share relevant news. Did you find an article, video, podcast episode, newsletter, or event that’s relevant to someone? If so, forward them the link with “You may have already seen this, but it reminded me of our conversation.” It’s an easy way to signal that you’re still thinking of them. Link

Meetings

People can’t read your mind, so they don’t know how hard you’ve been working or how good a job you’ve been doing. But they will observe how you come across in meetings (and in other settings)—and assume it fully and accurately reflects how you are doing in your job overall. Link

Seven questions to ask yourself to prepare for any meeting Link ![[Figure_12-01.jpg]]

What’s my one thoughtful comment and one thoughtful question?

If you have time to prepare (and especially if a meeting includes anyone you’d like to impress), consider showing up with at least one thoughtful comment and one thoughtful question. This can be especially helpful if you struggle to think on your feet in meetings. Link

Don’t wait until you have the most brilliant comment to speak up. Your contribution doesn’t have to win the Nobel Prize; it only has to nudge the group forward. I have to remind myself of this all the time. I think, This idea is obvious, so I won’t say it. Then someone else makes my exact comment and gets all the credit. Or I spend minutes polishing the perfect comment in my head, only for someone else to say something unpolished but useful. Lower your standards. Asking a question can often be just as impactful as making a statement. Link

Manage Feedback

The spoken objective of a feedback meeting may be to help you improve, but the unspoken objective is to help your manager feel validated. It’s hardly about how right you think you are or even how right you really are; it’s about how right your manager thinks they are. When it comes to feedback, it’s not about what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”; it’s about what aligns with your manager’s worldview and working style and what doesn’t. All feedback is subjective. Own it and move on. Link

Quit or Not Quit

Kathryn abruptly decided that she couldn’t live with the situation, so she would leave without first trying to fix it. She thought she knew what she was running away from, but hadn’t fully grasped what she was leaving behind. And she knew she was running toward something, but hadn’t fully grasped what she was signing up for. As a result, she spent two years chasing greener grass, only to realize that the grass was greenest where she began.

How can you avoid ending up in Kathryn’s situation when confronting challenges at work? Don’t just pursue the path of fastest relief or of least effort; pursue the path of least regret. Although every situation is different, a helpful rule of thumb is to diagnose the problem, evaluate your options, and fix the problem tactfully—or, if the situation warrants it, leave graciously. Link

Potential root causes of your problem Link ![[Figure_14-02.jpg]]

If you are struggling to identify the root cause of your issue, consider ending each day by journaling about a few questions:

• What did you do today?
• What did you learn today?
• How did you feel at different points in the day? Why?
• What did you enjoy about today? Why?
• What did you not enjoy about today? Why?

After a month, look back at what you wrote. The root cause of your problem—and where you should direct your energy—just may reveal itself. Link

You could put other characteristics at the corners of this triangle, depending on your circumstances: high impact, good pay or benefits, low stress, good stability, good location. No matter what labels you put in your triangle, the conclusion is the same: no combination of people, position, and place will be perfect. It’s a question of what you value and what you are willing to sacrifice. Link

Think multiple steps ahead: Which option feels most appealing ten minutes from now? Which might leave you more satisfied in ten months, after you experience the positive and negative consequences of your action (or inaction)? Which might leave you feeling the best in ten years, once you are many steps along in your career and have had the time to process all the trade-offs? Link

Offer feedback/ways to fix the problems:

Don’t talk about improving your life. Focus on contributing to the team. Instead of “I need [x],” try saying, “I’d love to find a way for us to better [x].” If anything you’re suggesting can help the team, point it out. It makes you sound less demanding. Link

Don’t propose changes. Offer experiments. People are more likely to embrace things that are low commitment. So, instead of saying, “We should change …,” consider saying, “I wonder if we could try …,” “Could we consider …,” or “We could experiment with …” Link

Goodbye email

Subject: I’m cheering you all on! Dear [x] family,

After two incredible years on the operations team, I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye. While I’m sad that I won’t get to be a part of your next stage of growth, I cannot think of a better team to bring the vision of [x] to life.

Thank you for the friendship, mentorship, and opportunities you’ve provided to me during my time here. You welcomed a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new grad into your ranks and showed her what it takes to be a world-class professional. A few specific shout-outs:

• [x]
• [y]

Though my next steps are still unclear, my plan is to remain in San Francisco and to remain in the e-commerce space (let me know if you have any suggestions!).

Going forward, I can be reached at ____@____.com and XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Gratefully yours, Joanna https://www.linkedin.com/in/[x]

Link

Show Competence and Potential

Know that you are being evaluated based on both your performance (how effective you are in your current role) and your potential (how effective you might be in your next role). To show your potential, claim an unclaimed swimlane: do what hasn’t been done, fix what hasn’t been fixed, bridge what hasn’t been bridged, know what others don’t know, and share what hasn’t been shared. Don’t let potential go unrecognized. Ask for what you want—and deserve. Link

The nine-box matrix Link ![[Figure_15-01.jpg]]

To position yourself for a promotion, think about:

What can I do that hasn’t been done? Most organizations value the same four things: more customers, clients, donors, and fans; better products, services, and reviews; faster ways of getting things done; and cheaper ways to keep everything running. If you can achieve one or more of these goals, you can boost others’ perceptions of your potential—and your promotability. Link

Know that some flavors of more, better, faster, and cheaper can be more important—and promotable—than others. From the perspective of the higher-ups, changes can be noticed or not noticed and reported or not reported. Link

The more you align yourself with solving massive pains and mission-critical problems, the more likely people will be to recognize your potential—and your promotability. Link The better you understand what matters to those who matter, the better your odds of making an impact—and the better your chances of getting promoted. Link

Imposter Syndrome

If you suffer from impostor syndrome—meaning you tend to doubt your abilities and doubt that you belong in your job—it can be difficult to consider yourself an expert at anything. In teams with more-experienced, faster-thinking, and louder-talking coworkers, it can be especially easy to tell yourself, Everyone is so smart here! How could I ever have anything useful to say? or I’m no expert—I just heard this information from someone else. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking these thoughts, you may have set your standards too high. You don’t need to be the world’s foremost expert on a tool, person, or topic to be valuable as a local expert on your team. You only need to know slightly more than your teammates. Link