2019-03-23 21:27:40 <!--more-->

Freddie Mercury: The Definitive Biography 即皇后乐队主唱，弗雷迪·默丘里的传记书籍。

捡感兴趣的摘录如下，基本是机翻＋校对：

1.【弗雷迪】“发生在我身上的事都是我的错。这就是我想要的。这是我们所有人的奋斗目标：成功，名誉，金钱，性，毒品——无论想要什么，我都能拥有。但是现在我开始意识到，尽管我创造了它，我还是想逃离它。我开始担心我不能控制它， 因为它控制着我。”

Whatever happens to me is all my fault.It’s what I wanted. It’s what we all strive for. Success, fame, money, sex,drugs – whatever you want. I can have it. But now I’m beginning to see that asmuch as I created it, I want to escape from it. I’m starting to worry that Ican’t control it, as much as it controls me.

2.【弗雷迪】“（舞台表演）对我来说是一个灵魂出窍的体验。就好像我俯视着自己，心想：‘操，那太性感了。’然后我意识到那就是我：该干活干活去。 ”

It becomes an out-of-body experience for meup there. It’s like I’m looking down on myself and thinking, “Fuck me, that’shot.” Then I realise it is me: better go to work.

3.【弗雷迪；大致意思】“明星总是对陌生人非常有吸引力，可在陌生人在明星身上取得了需要的一切，他们就不再需要你了，会把你踢出局。我知道为什么，所以不在乎。有些人会因为被明星不友好地对待感到沮丧或生气。不必这样，你们去看看明星的童年生活，总会发现他们有着一定的心理创伤。不然，还有什么原因会让人渴望倚靠掌声和奉承活着，过着糟糕的、没有真正的生活的日子？除了有钱赚之外，没有一个正常人会想成为明星。”

‘They are usually utterly charming with newpeople,’ he goes on. ‘But there’s a dark side. When they’ve taken everythingthey possibly can from you, they have no further use for you and they spit youout. I’ve been spat out, but I couldn’t give a toss. I understand these people,I know what makes them tick. It’s no use getting upset or angry about beingtreated unkindly or cruelly by some star. They are what they are. There is acertain psychological damage which runs through every one of them. I guaranteethat if you look through their childhoods, you will find it. What else makesyou so desperate to win applause and adulation? So desperate that you’ll lead alousy life you can never really call your own? No normal person would ever wantto be a star. Not for any money.’

4.【LiveAid前时间线】乐队有一些争执👉为了推广他们1982年的专辑《HotSpace》而巡回演出👉他们实际上已经解散，有各自个人专辑计划👉1983年8月在洛杉矶重组，制作专辑《TheWorks》👉在美国备受争议的异装MV《I Want to Break Free》👉1984年10月在种族隔离的南非举行演出，被广泛批评👉“Queen开始觉得他们的日子已经过去了。可能会出现永久性的分裂。他们讨论过这个问题。感谢 LiveAid，这一切即将改变。”

👉Queen在新西兰巡演时，组织者联系上乐队经纪人Jim Beach，告知LiveAid事宜👉Queen结束在日本的巡演后才决定加入，犹豫原因是“ twenty minutes, no sound check!”（只有20分钟，没有事先的舞台声音检查）👉完美主义的乐队专门在 EustonRoad 的肖伯纳剧院排练了一个星期，别人没专门排练👉“这并不是说女王精于算计和狡猾。他们只是按照自己通常的方式做事，以为其他人也这样做。”哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈有点好笑。

5.【音乐公关伯纳德·多尔蒂】“观众们都疯了。后台的每个人都停止说话，看着他们。这太奇怪了。通常不会发生...谁在皇后之前还是之后上台？几乎没有人记得。”

The crowd was going nuts. Everyonebackstage stopped talking to watch them. That was bizarre. Never normallyhappens . . . Who came on before or after Queen? Hardly anyone remembers.

6.【作者总结】LiveAid给了乐队一个完美的机会来展示——去掉道具和装饰，去掉他们自己的灯光设备和音响设备，去掉烟雾和其他特效，甚至没有黄昏的自然魔力，只有不到20分钟的时间——他们证明了自己，他们是无可挑战的君主，仍然拥有震撼世界的能力。他们现在可以接受这样一个明确的事实：Queen比他们各部分的总和更伟大。

Live Aid gave the band the perfectopportunity to demonstrate that, stripped of props and trappings, of their ownlighting rig and sound equipment, of fog and smoke and other special effects,without even the natural magic of dusk and with fewer than twenty minutes inwhich to prove themselves, they were unchallenged sovereigns who still had whatit took to rock the world. They would now embrace the unequivocal fact that Queenwere greater than the sum of their parts.

7.【波斯】对帕西人来说，同性恋不仅罪孽深重，而且是一种无法想象的魔鬼崇拜形式。

For Parsees, homosexuality is not onlysinful, but a form, unimaginably, of devil-worship.

8.【弗雷迪；印度】“我是个早熟的孩子，我父母认为寄宿学校对我有好处。所以当我七岁的时候，我在印度被关了一段时间。这是成长过程中的一次剧变，我想这似乎已经奏效了。”

9.【成长经历】虽然弗雷迪和Kashmira 都没有受到殴打的惩罚，但他们也从来没有被拥抱过。根据吉姆（应是指后期伴侣吉姆·赫顿）的说法，弗雷迪会时不时地思考，童年早期缺乏感情是否导致了成年后对身体上的爱情的不成比例的痴迷...... 这种渴望常常表现在毫无意义的性爱中，因为他通常无法只得到没有性爱的感情。性从来都不能替代他最想要的东西，那就是感情....被爱的感受。他对此十分天真。例如，他在猫身上大量的爱抚和抚摸，其实是他自己想要的。

While neither Freddie nor Kashmira waschastised with beatings, they were never cuddled much either. According to Jim,Freddie would ponder from time to time whether that lack of affection duringhis early childhood was what led to a ‘disproportionate obsession with physicallove in adulthood . . . a craving which all too often manifested itself inmeaningless sex, because he generally couldn’t get the one without the other.Sex was never a substitute for the thing he wanted most, which was affection .. . proof that he was loved. He was quite childlike about it. All the pettingand stroking which he lavished on the cats, for example: it was what he wantedfor himself.’

10.【成长经历】他在那里住了十年，每年只见父母一次，每年夏天只见一个月。难怪他和父母的关系变得疏远了，从他写给父母的信中可以看出，他对父母表示尊重，但又不动感情。

He would remain there for a decade, seeinghis parents only once a year, for a month each summer. Little wonder that hisrelationship with his mother and father became distant, as evident from therespectful but unemotional letters he wrote to them.

11.【成长经历】那些在后期与弗雷迪关系密切的人说，弗雷迪对父母“把他送走”深怀怨恨，尽管他一直是一个受人尊敬、有爱心的成年儿子。他显然尽了最大努力克服被拒绝的感受。

Those close to him in later years have toldhow Freddie harboured a deep resentment towards his parents for ‘sending himaway’, even though he was never less than a respectful and loving adult son. Heclearly tried his hardest to overcome his feelings of rejection.

12.【作者】当弗雷迪大约十岁的时候，他开始表现出一种冷漠，有点居高临下的倾向，这种倾向将伴随他的余生。

When Freddie was about ten years old, hebegan to display an aloof, somewhat condescending streak, which he would retainfor the rest of his life.

13.【同学Gita Choksi；抛弃过去】“我们学校的另一个好朋友确实去过一次皇后乐队的演唱会，并试图去后台见巴基。但当他设法与弗雷迪面对面时，弗雷迪眼神掠过这个可怜的家伙，对他说，‘对不起，但我恐怕不知道你是谁。’那时我们都确信他不想再和我们有任何瓜葛。过去是他决心要抛在脑后的东西。”

Another of our good school chums did goonce to a Queen concert, and tried to go backstage to see Bucky. But when hemanaged to put himself face to face with him, Freddie just looked right throughthis poor fellow and said to him, “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I just don’t knowwho you are.” ‘That was when we all knew for sure that he wanted nothing moreto do with us. The past was something he was determined to leave behind.’

14.【表兄佩尔维兹】“很久以后，当我听说弗雷迪已经成为一位著名的音乐家时，我很高兴我们家有这样一位天才。我们为他感到骄傲。但是他没有和我们任何人交流。他甚至都没给我们寄过磁带 ”

‘When I heard, much later on, that Freddiehad become a famous musician, I was very happy that we had such a genius in thefamily. How proud we were of him. But he did not communicate with any of us. Henever even sent us a cassette.’

15.【其实是专科文凭？作者评论说，和乐队其他人的学位证书没法比】弗雷迪说：“我去艺术学校是为了拿到文凭，我确实拿到了，然后成为了一名插图画家，希望靠自由职业赚钱。”

‘I went to art school with the intention ofgetting my diploma, which I did,’ Freddie said, ‘and then becoming anillustrator – hoping to earn my keep as a freelance.’

16.【作者；偶像吉米亨德里克斯】亨德里克斯可以把任何一首歌曲，甚至是一些平淡无奇的歌曲，变成听起来像是他自己独特的作品。1986 年， 我亲眼目睹了弗雷迪也这样做，他在布达佩斯的舞台上演唱了一首简单的匈牙利民间歌谣，让成千上万的人热泪盈眶。他手上潦草的外国歌词对他来说毫无意义。旋律听起来一点也不像摇滚歌曲。但弗雷迪表现得好像他是认真的，发自内心的。观众被迷住了。

Hendrix could take any song, even somethingmundane, and make it sound as if it were his own unique composition. In 1986 Iwas to witness Freddie do likewise, live on stage in Budapest, when he broughttears to the eyes of thousands with his rendition of a simple Hungarian folkballad. The foreign lyrics scrawled on his hand could not have meant less tohim. The melody sounded nothing like a rock song. But Freddie performed it asif he meant it, from the heart. The audience was spellbound.

17.【伦敦同学】“总的来说，弗雷迪是一个安静的家伙，尽管他有时会咯咯地笑。当这种情况发生时，他会把他的手放在他的嘴上，以掩盖那些巨大的牙齿。”

“他很安静，很友好。总是很有礼貌，总是很可亲。你妈妈可能会说这种小伙子‘教养很好’。他过去常常到处溜达、唱歌，用尺子当作假装的话筒，但那只是为了好笑。”

Freddie was a quiet guy, although he wasprone to fits of giggles. When that happened, he would put his hand right overhis mouth to cover up those huge teeth of his.

He showed no signs of that at all. He wasquiet, friendly. Always polite, always nice. The sort of lad your mum might saywas “well brought-up”. He used to lark about and sing, using a ruler as apretend microphone, but that was just for laughs.

18.【插播一句鼓手；作者这描述红红火火恍恍惚惚】罗杰·梅多斯·泰勒有着浅金色的头发和深蓝色的眼睛，他几乎漂亮得不像个男人。

With his baby-blond hair and deep blueeyes, Roger Meddows Taylor was almost too beautiful to be male.

19.【加入乐队从‘果儿’做起】很快，作为“微笑”演出的常客，弗雷迪开始坦率地谈论他们应该如何塑造自己的形象，谈论他们的表现，甚至开始告诉他们应该如何坐、站、走和说话。

“他提出的建议是无法拒绝的,”布莱恩回忆道。那时候，他还没有真正唱过歌，我们也不知道他会唱歌。我们以为他只是个摇滚音乐剧演员。

Soon a regular fixture at Smile gigs,Freddie took to making candid comments about how they should style themselves,passed remarks about their performance, and even started telling them how theyshould sit, stand, walk and talk.

‘He offered suggestions in a way thatcouldn’t be refused,’ remembered Brian. ‘At that time, he hadn’t really doneany singing, and we didn’t know he could. We thought he was just a theatricalrock musician.’

20.【大学毕业后没钱，和鼓手摆摊卖服装】弗雷迪在那段时间写给学生朋友塞琳·戴利的信中说：“罗杰和我到处讨价还价，最近我俩被叫做一对儿皇后。”

‘Roger and I go poncing and ultrablaggingjust about everywhere, and lately we’ve been termed as a couple of queens,’Freddie wrote to student friend Celine Daley during that period.

21.【演出风格；哈哈哈哈给他一个无线mic舞到天上好不！】无论弗雷迪什么时候登台，他都会像挥舞乐队指挥棒一样挥舞麦克风。但是麦克风可要累赘沉重得多。他一度抓起麦克风试图摆动，但底部掉了下来。弗雷迪一点也不担心，继续拿着上半截挥动。一个商标诞生了。

Whenever Freddie did a turn as front man,he would twirl his mic around like a majorette’s baton. This one came completewith a cumbersome heavy stand. At one point he seized the mic and attempted toswing it, but the bottom part fell off. Unfazed, Freddie carried on with thetop half. A trademark was born.

22.【早期考虑】弗雷迪没有乐队，罗杰和布莱恩没有主唱。他们为什么不干脆把他抢走呢？他们的朋友克里斯·达米特(chrisdummett)后来承认，“微笑”成员认为弗雷迪只是一个小小的玩笑。“他们过去常常把他送上舞台，让他小便一会儿......我想，这是一种表达喜爱的方式。”

Freddie without a band, and Roger and Brianwithout a lead singer. Why didn’t they simply snap him up?

‘The Smile people thought of Freddie as alittle bit of a joke,’ their friend Chris Dummett later admitted. ‘They used tosend him up, take the piss a bit . . . in an affectionate way, I suppose.’

23.【个性】大约在同一时间，他开始显露出不那么吸引人的特征。他有时会以自我为中心，非常任性，甚至肆意发怒，绷着脸不搭理人，像是一场势不可挡的内心斗争占据了上风。

我们都有黑暗的一面。从根本上来说，弗雷迪是一个善良、慷慨、 体贴的人。他不喜欢利用别人来得到自己想要的东西，他似乎很乐意让自己被利用，不期待任何回报。也许他最大的特点是他的虚荣心。他无休止地摆弄他的头发和衣服，并且不厌其烦地纠结于自己的外表。他无休止地宣称自己将成为一个"传奇人物"，这可能会让人们感到不安。

At around the same time he began to revealless attractive traits. He could be self-centred and egotistical, not tomention petulant and sulky, as if an overwhelming internal struggle was gettingthe better of him.

We all have our dark side. Freddie was fundamentallya kind, generous and considerate human being. Averse to using others to getwhat he wanted, he rather seemed happy to allow himself to be used, expectingnothing in return. Perhaps his worst characteristic was his vanity. He wouldfiddle endlessly with his hair and his clothes, and obsess about his appearancead nauseam. His endless declarations that he was going to be ‘a legend’ couldget on people’s nerves.

24.【弗雷迪没加入“微笑”的时期，自己先后组了两个乐队，第二个乐队的成员说】“毫无疑问，弗雷迪凭借自己的侵略性和英俊的外表，成功地把人们的想法掌握在了自己的手心里。他非常爱挑剔，爱坎普风（译注：一种非自然的、矫揉造作的艺术感受，例如Lady Gaga的一系列时尚穿着为当代坎普风的典型代表），而且非常自负。我记得有一次他走进我家，照着镜子，拨弄着他的长发。他说‘我今天看起来不错，你不觉得吗，橡胶?’当时我只有十八岁， 我不觉得这很有趣。”

‘Freddie definitely managed to get whatpeople were there in the palm of his hand, just by sheer aggression and hisgood looks. He was very posey and camp and quite vain. I remember him cominginto my house once and looking in the mirror, poking his long hair about. Hesaid, “I look good today, don’t you think, Rubber?” I was only eighteen at thetime, and I didn’t think it was very funny.’

25.【贝斯加入后，乐队成形】从1971年2月到1986年8月9日皇后乐队的最后一场演出，乐队阵容保持不变。

From February 1971 until Queen’s final gigon 9 August 1986, the band line-up remained exactly the same.

26.【玛丽】这些年来，玛丽成了弗雷迪的坚强后盾。他会依靠她使自己变得坚强。每当弗雷迪感到自己的性/毒品/摇滚生活方式失控，无法应对录音和巡演的压力时，他就会向玛丽求助。坚实可靠，宽容大度，包容一切，她是他永远依赖的母亲形象。音乐公关伯纳德·多尔蒂说:"在某种程度上，玛丽·奥斯汀是弗雷迪的母亲。"。

Over the years, Mary became Freddie’s rock.He would rely on her to be strong for him. Whenever Freddie felt hissex/drugs/rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle spiralling out of control, and was unable tocope with the pressures of recording and touring, it was to Mary that heturned. Solid and reliable, ever-forgiving, all-accepting, she was the motherfigure to whom he would always cling.

‘Mary Austin was Freddie’s mum, in a way,’reasons music publicist Bernard Doherty.

27.【心理学顾问科斯莫·哈尔斯特罗姆博士】她为一项基本目的服务：他的罪恶感给他带来的痛苦，他不和她在一起时的行为方式，是他创造力的关键。一个快乐的人不需要去做任何事，去创造任何东西。快乐的人满足于他们的命运，满足于现状。弗雷迪永远痛苦不堪。他对玛丽的感受是这一切的原因，也是他工作的灵感来源。

But she served a fundamental purpose: themisery his guilt caused him, at the way he behaved when not with her, was thekey to his creativity. A happy person doesn’t feel the need to do anything, tocreate anything. Happy people are content with their lot, with the way thingsare. Freddie was perennially anguished. The way he felt about Mary was thecause of that, but was also an inspiration for his work.

28.【性向，我的感觉是更偏好同性的双性恋】至于弗雷迪，尽管有源源不断的男朋友，他还是会和女人有其他的风流韵事。因为她选择继续成为弗雷迪生活中不可分割的一部分， 玛丽只能接受这一点。

As for Freddie, there would be otheraffairs with women, despite the endless stream of boyfriends. Because she hadchosen to remain an integral part of Freddie’s life, Mary could only acceptthis.

29.【不引用原文了，但玛丽和弗雷迪的这种状态，确实是两边都说不清的，朋友们和旁观者们都有许多不同的看法。】

30.【乐队早年公关Brainsby】我认为值得称赞的是，他们从来没有把自己打扮成“弗雷迪·默丘里和皇后”。这总是一个集体的形象。弗雷迪从未试图把自己塑造成一个领导者。据我所知，乐队内部的关系大多是和谐的。他们对于摇滚音乐家来说是不同寻常的，因为他们是如此的聪明。在他们面前，你会觉得自己很不称职。

‘What I thought was commendable was that atno time did they style themselves “Freddie Mercury and Queen”. It was always agroup image. Freddie never tried to project himself as the leader. As far as Icould tell, relationships within the band were mostly harmonious. They wereunusual for rock musicians in that they were so intelligent. One could feelquite inadequate in their presence.’

31.【吉他手詹姆斯 · 尼斯贝特】皇后乐队与其他摇滚乐队的不同之处在于，他们积极创作流行歌曲。你可以成为世界上最伟大的音乐家，但是要写出一部三分半钟的精华片段，让全世界都能跟着哼唱，却是难以置信的困难。如果你能做到这一点，并与伟大的音乐技巧相结合，那么你就是真正的成功者。这就是他们成功的秘诀。

The thing that set Queen apart from otherrock bands is that they actively set out to write hit songs. You can be thegreatest musician in the world, but writing a three-and-a-half-minute gem thatthe world can hum along to is incredibly hard. If you can do that, and combineit with great musicianship, then you are truly onto a winner. Therein lies thesecret to their success.

32.【声带问题；个人评论：LiveAid上就是声带长结的问题影响了发挥。原来1975年他就第一次出现了这个问题，主要是发声方式和过度消耗的舞台表演造成的】

33.【记者 RickSky记录；第二次美国巡演时的采访】"'过度是我天性的一部分,"他说。"对我来说，迟钝是一种疾病。我需要危险和刺激。我天生不是呆在家里看电视的料。我绝对是个性欲旺盛的人。我过去常说我愿意和任何人在一起，但现在我变得更挑剔了。我喜欢和陌生而有趣的人在一起，因为他们让我感觉更有活力。异性恋的人使我感到厌烦。我喜欢怪人。我天性焦躁不安，高度紧张，所以我不会成为一个好的顾家男人。在内心深处，我是一个非常情绪化的人，一个真正极端的人，这往往对我自己和他人都具有破坏性。

"我充分享受生活,"他后来挑衅地说。"我的性欲非常强烈。我和男 人，女人，猫睡觉——任何你能想到的。我什么都愿意上床！我的床太大了，我可以舒服地睡六个小时。我喜欢没有任何牵连的性生活。 "'

‘“Excess is a part of my nature,” he said.“To me, dullness is a disease. I need danger and excitement. I was not made forstaying indoors and watching television. I am definitely a sexual person. Iused to say that I would go with anyone, but I have become more choosy. I loveto surround myself with strange and interesting people, because they make mefeel more alive. Straight people bore me stiff. I love freaky people. By natureI’m restless and highly strung, so I wouldn’t make a good family man. Deep downI am a very emotional person, a person of real extremes, and that’s oftendestructive both to myself and to others.

‘“I live life to the full,” he later said,provocatively. ‘“My sex drive is enormous. I sleep with men, women, cats – youname it. I’ll go to bed with anything! My bed is so huge, I can comfortablysleep six. I prefer my sex without any involvement.”’

34.【摄影师丹尼斯·奥里根】“我当时在后台，注意到他们在幕后又建了一个小舞台。我立刻想到皇后要开一个即兴会议。他们把所有这些椅子都摆在前面。下 一刻，一个女孩来了，开始跳脱衣舞。然后又是一个，然后又是一个，直到舞台上有十几个女人。然后她们在我们所有人面前做了巨大的女同性恋表演。只是为了娱乐那些工作和潜伏在后台的人们。在那个时代这样有点下流，但是这些东西就是皇后派对的主题。他们总是喜欢胸部，臀部和堕落的性爱。其实没有什么肮脏的事情，只是他们为了好玩而做的事情。他们对性感事物的专注是有意栽培的，似乎投射出皇后的另一面。我想，当时任何关于弗雷迪是同性恋的谣言都应该得到澄清。”

‘I was in the backstage area, and noticedthat they had built another little stage behind the scenes. I immediatelythought that Queen were going to do an impromptu session. They had all thesechairs set out in front of it. The next moment, this girl came on and did astrip. Then another one, and then another one, until there were a dozen womenon this stage. They then did this giant lesbian act in front of us all. Justfor the amusement and entertainment of those working and lurking backstage. Alla bit seedy for its time, but that kind of thing became Queen’s party theme.They would always go for boobs and bottoms and decadent sex. Nothing reallythat sordid about it, just the thing they did for a laugh. Their preoccupationwith sexy stuff was deliberately cultivated, and seemed to project a differentside of Queen. I imagine it would have put paid to any rumours at the timeabout Freddie being gay.’

35.【1976年的圣诞节，弗雷迪对玛丽坦白，两人结束恋情】

36.【喜欢，但认为自己不可能过好家庭生活】他告诉我：“妈的，这只是钱！为什么要担心这种事情呢？你已经做到了，你已经得到了你需要的一切——一个美好的家庭和孩子。你拥有我所不能拥有的一切。”

但是第二年在纽约，弗雷迪会告诉里克·斯凯：“我天生就是个焦躁不安、高度紧张的人，所以我不会成为一个有家室的好男人。我是一个非常情绪化的人，一个真正极端的人。而这往往对我自己和他人都是毁灭性的。”

He told me: "Fuck, it’s only money!Why worry about something like that? You’ve got it made, you’ve got everythingyou need – a wonderful family and children. You have everything I can neverhave."

But in New York the following year, Freddiewould tell Rick Sky: ‘By nature I’m very restless and highly strung, so Iwouldn’t make a good family man. I’m a very emotional person, a person of realextremes. And often that’s destructive, both to myself and others.

37.【每日镜报采访】“有时候我觉得生活中肯定还有比像疯子一样在世界上奔波、感到无聊更重要的事情。但是我不能一动不动地坐很久。我感到非常紧张。”

“你习惯了不同的事情。你的标准和期望越来越高。如果你知道你需要不断的娱乐，你就要确保你拥有它。当我告诉人们我在做什么时，他们都很惊讶。但我就知道这么多。这是我找乐子的方式。这就是为什么我不能坐下来读一本书。当一切都结束的时候，当我的腿缠着绷带的时候，我可以读完世界上所有的书。我可能只是贪婪，但我是一个艺人。这是与生俱来的...我只是个演员，亲爱的。给我一个舞台。但在某种程度上，你创造了一个怪物，不是吗。而你就是那个必须承受这一切的人。”

‘Sometimes I think there must be more tolife than rushing around the world like a mad thing, getting bored. But I can’tsit still for long. I’ve got all this nervous energy. "

‘You become accustomed to different things.Your standards and your expectations become higher. If you know you needconstant entertainment, you make sure you have it. When I tell people what I’vebeen up to, they’re amazed. But that’s all I know. It’s my way of having fun.That’s why I can’t sit down and read a book. I can read all the books in theworld when it’s all over and my legs are in bandages. I may be just beinggreedy, but I’m an entertainer. It’s in the blood . . . I am just a trouper,dear. Give me a stage. But in a way you’ve created a monster, haven’t you. Andyou’re the one who has to live with it.’

38.【阿根廷Polo报采访】当被问及为什么他总是显得与其他人格格不入时，弗雷迪回答说：“当皇后乐队一起演奏 和录音时，人们认为我们有一种超级团队的形象。但皇后乐队是一个音乐团体，而不是一个家庭。我们每个人都想做什么就做什么。”

Asked why he appeared always to be apartfrom the rest of the group, Freddie responded: ‘As Queen play and recordtogether, people see us as having a super-unit image. But Queen is a musicalgroup, not a family. Each one of us does whatever we like.’

39.【《Radiolanda2000》杂志采访】“但是阿根廷人太棒了，我想回来。我必须承认我喜欢别人认为我是偶像。我确实想成为一个传奇人物，但你必须明白，我们的工作是共同努力的结果。皇后乐队不仅仅是弗雷迪·默丘里。是乐队。你只需要记住《七海七韵》、《杀手皇后》、《你是我最好的朋友》、 《值得爱的人》(弗雷迪和他母亲的个人最爱)、《波希米亚狂想曲》——这实际上是我职业生涯中最令人满意的时刻。这都是皇后的功劳，不是弗雷迪的。我认为我们对观众尊重的最好证明就是我们的作品。”

‘But Argentinians are amazing, and I wantto come back. I must admit I love it that people think I’m an idol. I do wantto be a legend, but you must understand that our work is a joint effort. Queenis not just Freddie Mercury. It’s the band. You just have to remember ‘SevenSeas of Rhye’, ‘Killer Queen’, ‘You’re My Best Friend’, ‘Somebody to Love’(Freddie’s and his mother’s personal favourite), ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ – whichactually was the most satisfying moment of my career. This was all Queen, notFreddie. I think the best proof of our respect for the audience is our work.’

40.【1981年重回慕尼黑；这段时间线我看了好久……弗雷迪同时和温弗里德•基希伯、芭芭拉·瓦伦丁[女]是同居情人，也和吉姆·赫顿保持关系。】“温妮对弗雷迪来说是个悲剧，”芭芭拉说，“他们毫无疑问是相爱的，但他们总是互相争斗，互相伤害。这让我想到，为什么恋人们总要互相伤害呢？对我来说，这是最大的悲剧之一。他头脑很简单，温妮，你知道。没有受过多少教育，没有像样的学校，诸如此类，我认为他也对此非常不满。有时候，他显然觉得自己真的很想向弗雷迪展示：‘谁在乎你是一个愚蠢的摇滚明星？我是温妮·基什伯格，大男子主义者。’他会在公共场合难堪地展示弗雷迪，恶劣地对待他，做愚蠢的事情，可怕的事情，只是为了伤害弗雷迪，把他打倒。我突然想到，弗雷迪很喜欢温妮，因为大多数时候他对自己太糟糕了。弗雷迪不能像他从世界其他地方那样轻而易举地得到温妮的认可和崇拜，这使得弗雷迪更加努力地争取他。也许温妮以他简单的方式理解了这一点：他能够掌控弗雷迪·默丘里的唯一方式就是像对待狗屎一样对待他，假装他根本不需要他。不管是什么，它起作用了。弗雷迪一次又一次地去找他索求更多。”

‘Winnie was a tragedy to Freddie,’ saidBarbara. ‘They were undoubtedly in love, but they were always fighting eachother, hurting each other. It made me think, why do lovers have to hurt eachother? To me, it is one of the greatest tragedies. He was very simple in hismind, Winnie, you know. Not much education, no decent school, whatever, and Ithink he had a chip on his shoulder about that. There were times when heobviously felt that he really wanted to show Freddie: “Who cares that you’re astupid rock ‘n’ roll star? I’m Winnie Kirchberger, themacho shit.” He would show him up dreadfully in public, treat him badly, dostupid things, terrible things, just to hurt Freddie and put him down. Itoccurred to me that Freddie adored Winnie because he was so awful to him mostof the time. Freddie couldn’t just have Winnie’s approval and adoration the wayhe seemed to get it so easily from the rest of the world, and that made Freddiework all the harder to get him. Perhaps Winnie, in his simple way, understoodthis: that the only way he could keep hold of Freddie Mercury was to treat himlike shit, and pretend he didn’t want him at all. Whatever it was, it worked.Freddie went back to him time and time again for more.’

41.【芭芭拉的看法】弗雷迪经常和芭芭拉谈起玛丽·奥斯汀。 “弗雷迪变成一个同性恋并不是他的错。这就是生活。尽管如此，他还是无法忘记自己让她失望的方式。他说他一开始并不是同性恋，但后来他转过身来，完全失控了，开始过着同性恋的生活。对他来说，这是一种选择，而不是生物学上的问题。”

芭芭拉相信，同性恋是他选择扮演的角色。

“他是伟大的伪装者。这让他很兴奋，因为这是禁果。在这一切发生的时候，他和我是真正意义上的恋人。我们确实经常做爱。是的。是的。这花了一段时间。当它发生的时候，它是美丽和天真的。”

Freddie talked to Barbara constantly aboutMary Austin.

‘It wasn’t Freddie’s fault that he turnedout to be mostly gay. That’s life. Still, he couldn’t get over the way he hadlet her down. He said that he hadn’t been gay, not in the beginning, but thenhe just turned around, flipped out completely, and started to live a gay life.It was a choice, not a biological thing, with him.’

Homosexuality was a role he chose to play,Barbara believed.

‘He was the Great Pretender. It excitedhim, because it was forbidden fruit. While all this was going on, he and I werelovers in the truest sense. We did have sex together regularly. Yes. Yes. Ittook a while. When it happened, it was beautiful and innocent. '

42.【作者的看法；其实我也较为认同这个看法】弗雷迪向不同的人展示了他自己的不同方面，但从来没有展示过他的整个。他处理人际关系的手法表明，他对任何个人满足其所有需要的能力缺乏信心。出于同样的原因，弗雷迪自己也不可能给一个合伙人所有的东西。这可以解释为什么他最亲密、持续时间最长的伙伴关系是在教养、地位 或财富方面不如他的人。对于那些不如他的人，弗雷迪可以发号施令。他永远是第一位的。

Freddie revealed different aspects ofhimself to different people, but never his whole self. His modus operandi inpersonal relationships indicated a lack of confidence in the ability of anyindividual to fulfil all his needs. By the same token, Freddie himself couldnever give a single partner everything. It could explain why his closest andlongest-lasting partnerships were with people not his equal in terms of breeding,status or wealth. With those who were ‘less’ than him, Freddie could call theshots. He would always come first.

43.【身后事】自从弗雷迪去世后，皇后乐队的全球声誉和影响力大幅提升，这在很大程度上要归功于舞台音乐剧《We Will Rock You》的非凡成功。

今天的皇后比他有生之年还要成功，弗雷迪自己会作何感想？

【大致意思】BBC电台主持人PaulGambaccini认为他会喜欢的，他已经变得比自己曾喜欢过的明星还要知名，他会为自己在外部的投射如此受人尊敬而激动不已。现在的人们是在对历史上保存下来的弗雷迪·默丘里这一形象做出反应，而不是对一个他们认识的人做出反应。

Since Freddie’s passing, Queen’s globalreputation and impact have soared, in no small way thanks to the phenomenalsuccess of their stage musical We Will Rock You.

How would Freddie himself feel about thefact that Queen are even bigger today than they were during his lifetime?

‘He would love it,’ insists PaulGambaccini. ‘He would just love it. He’s bigger than Liza Minnelli: what a kickhe would have got out of that. He loved the divas. Adored them. Liza,Montserrat: he worshipped these women. He would be thrilled that the outsizedprojection of himself is so greatly esteemed. I mean, I get Facebook requestsfrom young European men on the grounds that they know I knew Freddie. PeterFreestone is an idol of this group. It’s a career. They do the dress-ups, thetributes, the Freddie-for-a-Day (when fans all over the world dress as theiridol on Freddie’s birthday to raise money for the Mercury Phoenix Trust), theworks. It’s fascinating. None of them was alive, or they were not aware, whenFreddie was active. They are reacting to the historically-preserved FreddieMercury, not to a man they would have known for themselves.’