一、阅读笔记
Introduction:
To succeed at self-control, you need to know how you fail. This book talks about what is the willpower and how you can improve your willpower.
Chapter 1:
Willpower which helps us to control the impulse is actually 3 powers—I will, I won’t, I want. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain which is in charge of human’s willpower. There are 3 key regions in the prefrontal cortex control the 3 kinds of willpower: the upper left side (I will) ,the upper right side (I won’t), the lower part in the middle(I will).
There are two of our selves, one wants immediate gratification (primitive instincts), the other controls our impulses and delays gratification to protect the long-term goal (self-control).
The first rule of willpower is you need to be aware when the choice is being made. Try to track of your choice helps you to control yourself better.
Try meditation to train your brain.
Chapter 2:
Willpower is a biological instinct, like the fight-or-flight response when we face the danger and the self-reward instinct when we face the food. It can help us to protect ourselves from ourselves.
Heart rate variability is one of the indicator of willpower level. People who have higher heart rate variability are more likely to ignore the temptation.
There are many ways that can help us to gain more willpower by putting our energy towards self-control and keeping the heart rate variability at a high level: breath training, sleeping well, green exercise, etc.
Chapter 3:
Willpower is a limited resource. Self-control drains the energy, and the energy loss weakens self-control. When used, it gets tired. Self-control limiting may reflect people’s beliefs about willpower but not their true limits (no matter it’s physical or mental).
Workout:
Willpower workout (I won’t power - commit to not doing something / I will power - commit to doing something every day/ self-monitoring - keep track of something you don’t usually pay close attention to).
Training the willpower muscle: Asking people to control one small thing that they aren’t used to controlling. (The brains will get used to pausing before acting)
Schedule the time and energy for your “I will” willpower challenge when you have the most strength.
Try low-glycemic diet. (It helps to keep your blood sugar level steadily, low blood sugar level has bad effect to self-control)
Chapter 4:
We often judge our behavior in terms of virtue and vice, and forget what is our really goal. Being “good” gives us permission to be “bad”. Forget virtue, and focus on goals and values.(Moral license)
Reduce the variability of your behavior day to day. Tomorrow is just like today.
Halo effect: When we want permission to indulge, we’ll take any hint of virtue as a justification to give in. When a halo effect is getting in the way of your willpower challenge, look for the most concrete measure (e.g. Calories, cost, time wasted) of whether a choice is consistent you’re your goals.
Chapter 5:
Brains produce dopamine to give promise of reward. We mistake the promise of reward for a guarantee of happiness.
Our reward system gets much more excited about a possible big win than a guaranteed smaller reward.
Solution: Recruiting dopamine and the promise of reward to motivate ourselves.
Chapter 6:
Stress, and other negative emotions, shifts the brain into a reward-seeking state. Feeling bad often leads to giving in.
What-the-hell effect: cycle of indulge and guilt.
Solution:
Relief: exercising/play sports/praying/attending a religious service/reading/listening to music/spending time with friends or family/getting a massage/going outside for a walk/meditating or doing yoga/spending time with a creative hobby ( boost mood-enhancing brain chemicals like serotonin and GABA)
Forgiveness: not seeking comfort coping
Self-compassion: optimistic pessimism for successful
Chapter 7:
Our inability to clearly see the future clearly leads us into temptation and procrastination. Far-off rewards seem less compelling, so we choose immediate gratification.
Discounting future rewards: lower the discount rate, take 10 minutes later, think about the long-term reward first.
Don’t rely on “future you”.
Chapter 8:
Willpower is contagious (not matter is self-control or self-indulgence) because of the mirror neurons.
Solution:
Spending a few minutes at the beginning of your day think about your goal strengthens your immune system.
Chapter 9:
Ironic rebound: It’s impossible to control what comes into our mind. All we can do is chose what we believe and what we act on. Accept the cravings, just don’t act on them. (Surf-the-urge)
Self-awareness, self-care and remembering what matter most, are the foundation for self-control.
Chapter 10:
Integrate the competing selves.
二、意志力种种
这本书的关键词基本上就是willpower, energy, reward, temptation, self-awareness, self-control。关于意志力，这本书主要讲了几个层次：意志力的生理学/神经学来源，意志力的心理学表现，哪些因素对意志力产生不利影响，如何锻炼你的意志力和抗拒诱惑。想要看本书就一口气治愈拖延症是不可能的，对我而言，主要的效果更多的体现在两个方面：更容易认识到诱惑（微博成瘾，拖延症），也就有更多的机会去抗拒；控制呼吸等一些小技巧是很有效的（哪怕是用来帮助自己更易入眠：）。与此同时，了解许多著名非著名的心理学实验（巴普洛夫的狗，White bear）也是极为趣味和开阔眼界的。
但从逆向思维的角度来说，这倒不失为一本营销人员必看的书。作为营销人员，就是和temptation为伍，与消费者的willpower为敌的，知己知彼总是必不可少的，例如文中提到关于在凶杀、犯罪等新闻后播放广告的Terror Management就颇有耳目一新之感。
三、其他
一直将朗读者误认为是年轻漂亮的作者，直到开始听才发现是位大叔。这本有声书做得非常有诚意，比如文中每一个”book”都会改为”audio book”，语速平缓，吐字清晰，让人有充分的时间思考和接受指导。
总体而言，这本书不失为了解应用心理学，治疗拖延症的上手好书。