一艘從英國開往美國的茅列塔尼號豪華遊輪上，載滿了各式各樣有錢有閒的遊客，其中有一心想為女兒尋找金龜婿的精明母親，有追求女星的纏人男影迷，有專找生嫩年輕人詐賭的江湖郎中，有富甲一方的紐約新貴，還有一對為追求自由，愛情而計畫於輪船上殺人棄屍的亡命鴛鴦……然而在他們各自以為願望已達成時，一切事情卻開始荒腔走版，該賺的錢沒賺，該死的人沒死，該抓的人沒抓……這全是因為他們之中混進了一位冒牌警探狄友！

In 1914, a cruise ship sets sail from Naples to spread the ashes of beloved opera singer Edmea Tetua near Erimo, the isle of her birth. During the voyage, the eclectic array of passengers discovers a group of Serbian refugees aboard the vessel. Peace and camaraderie abound until the ship is descended upon by an Austrian flagship. The Serbians are forced to board it, but naturally they resist, igniting a skirmish that ends in destruction.