a review of 火星人玩转地球

why does this feel like the absolute most terrible b movie ever made that has twenty four a list actors in it? why is this like a way crappier and less riveting version of independence day in pretty much every way? but... why is this independence day's cross faded cousin but with actually truly amazing costume and set design? why does jack nicholson give me more red flags than almost anyone i've ever seen on screen ever? why does the cgi look so so so very so very so very and it truly does not matter one little bit it's fine? why did they forget to make this funny and instead opted for just weird bizarre half speed ahead? why are y'all asking me how many stars i dunno what to say it's a piece of shit and also you might like it?