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Fucktoys (2025)

i've been trying to find a way to watch this movie for months. i was in my seat at the olympia film fest bright and early, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, popcorn, candy, and a can of squirt. happy as a pig or a baby goat or whatever, giddy with horny teenage bisexual anticipation, and just then, this incredibly high man saunters over to ask if the two open seats between me and a stranger are in fact open. (yeah, but also kinda no.) color my (also high) ass surprised because a. there were at least a hundred other (better) seats open in the theater, and b. i usually don't suffer fools. and just like that, the man did a lil parkour hop over the wall in front of the seats, sat down in the seat two down from me, and turned to me in a whisper "do you think I should tell her". i kid you not, i was still unsure whether this man even knew where he was, let alone whether he actually had another human (with she/her pronouns) joining him, but this interaction was juuust weird and interesting enough to lower my defenses. the movie began to roll. big freedia in the opening scene, shot on film, colorful, funny, goofy camp. i am in my element, settling in wondering whether i'm about to see a perfect film. a hot ass non binary weirdo with customary horrific haircut shows up on screen and i start losing my shit. my edible is kicking in during the bathtub piss scene. i'm sitting in the theater howling and we're not even ten minutes into the film. i really admire the times this film leans all the way into debauchery. gay ass debauchery. i appreciate the aesthetic. the dream-like editing. the very specific no-human-should-be-living-here vibe of the louisiana coast that the camera and editing captured so well. just following this goofball sexpot brown girl around on her adventure to make enough money to buy as many three hundred dollar tanning bed energy readings as her heart desires, or remove a curse or whatever. powdered donuts. the scene in the liquor store. the scene in front of the fridge at her john's house sent me. if anyone asks, you're robbing my house. of course the non binary alpha (still) covered in blood stops for a parting embrace. completely deranged bisexual energy throughout. everyone should see this film. didn't love the ending. a bit too many things fell into place all at once. it made so much sense that it made no sense, yeah i dunno. very much appreciated the class commentary, especially the scene where they're at the party waiting in line for the bathroom. loved the film poking casual fun at how much certain queers depend on tarot and psychics and palm readings like they depend on air to breathe. loved the baby goat and the room in the field. the very demure acab tattoo on her shoulder. post-film q&a with annapurna. hilarious. imagine my giddy excitement when she announces to the theater that her brother is here, and points all the way up to the balcony to the very high man sitting two seats down from me. this is the stuff of legend. of course her brother is here watching his sister's bisexual smut film two seats down from me. she talks a bit more about themes in the film, artistic integrity, organizing to destroy capitalism, having lots of gay sex, leaving her bf steven because a psychic told her (no really), so i'm basically falling in love. annapurna, if you're reading this. your brother is dying to know more about the "mr. rogers sex show". thanks so much for making this film. holy fuck you're hot.