"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control." "He can be sweet and gentle." "He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father." "He's had a really hard life..." Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with: € The early warning signs € Nine abusive personality types € How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will € The role of drugs and alcohol € What can be fixed, and what can't € How to leave a relationship safely