爱情
Eleven Minutes Douban Goodreads Skybridge
author: Paulo Coelho publishing house: Harper Perennial 2005 - 4 other title: Eleven Minutes
Eleven Minutes is the story of Maria, a young girl from a Brazilian village, whose first innocent brushes with love leave her heartbroken. At a tender age, she becomes convinced that she will never find true love, instead believing that “love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer. . . .” A chance meeting in Rio takes her to Geneva, where she dreams of finding fame and fortune.

Maria’s despairing view of love is put to the test when she meets a handsome young painter. In this odyssey of self-discovery, Maria has to choose between pursuing a path of darkness—sexual pleasure for its own sake—or risking everything to find her own “inner light” and the possibility of sacred sex, sex in the context of love.
Sept. 12, 2023 read
主人公Maria,与圣母同名,却选择了做妓女,出卖肉体。既然是自己选的,就要做到最好。她向前辈请教,去图书馆借书读书,并且随时总结反思。

哦,Maria虽然出卖肉体,但她有个完整且清醒的灵魂。她还写日记。书中重要情节后,均摘录她的日记。她的日记,睿智、冷静、充满内省与思考。其中的哲理,常常让我想起古罗马帝王奥勒留的《沉思录》。她总结到,男人们的一场性爱,从开始到结束,大概11分钟。男人们,无论是带着怎样需求来,床上的表现如何,他们都在害怕着什么。他们没有爱。Maria卖出的,他们无法返还。

Maria没有恐惧。她犯过错,许多,但那又有什么。他以为只要不投入感情,就不会被伤害。

但,一个年轻画家,发现了她。她也发现了他。只是因为他对待她有些不同,就被他吸引着,陷入了爱中。他们彼此并不需要对方,不渴望拥有,所以才有纯粹的爱。爱的真相,是彼此独立的个体间的吸引。

然后,如同疼痛与快乐合一那样,灵与肉合一,性与爱合一,施与受合一,男与女合一,惩罚与臣服合一,运动与静止合一。

合一为无条件的爱。
觉醒 小说 爱情
亲密关系 Douban Goodreads
Intimate Relationship
★ 8.9 (112 ratings) author: [美] 罗兰·米勒 (Rowland S. Miller) translator: 王伟平 译 / 彭凯平 校 publishing house: 人民邮电出版社 2015 - 6
亲密关系与泛泛之交有什么区别;大丈夫与小女子真的般配吗;吸引力的秘密是什么;男人与女人真的是不同的动物吗;同性恋真的是由基因决定的吗;单亲家庭的孩子长大后更容易离婚吗……什么是爱情?由什么构成?能持续多久?两性在发生一夜情及选择终身伴侣上有什么差异?爱情和性欲是由不同的脑区控制吗?亲密关系美满的秘诀是什么?有什么方法能让婚姻持续一生?米勒教授在《亲密关系》中回答了这些问题,尤其澄清了通俗心理学所宣扬的经验之谈,甚至某些错误观点。
《亲密关系》汲取了社会心理学、沟通研究、家庭研究、认知心理学、发展心理学、演化心理学、社会学、传播学及家政学等学科的最新成果,研究实践和理论建构并重,学术标准与大众兴趣兼备。全书结构清晰、逻辑严密、语言生动、启发思考,既通俗易懂,读来轻松愉快,又科学权威,崇尚实证精神。本书遵循由浅入深、由一般到特殊的认知规律,论述了亲密关系的基础、活动形态、类型、矛盾和修复等内容,读完本书,你将对人际吸引、爱情、婚姻、承诺、友谊、激情、沟通、性爱、依恋、择偶、嫉妒、出轨、家暴等亲密关系的方方面面有全新的认识。
亲密关系是人类经验的核心,处理得好能给人带来极大的快乐,处理得不好则会造成重大创伤,因此科学地认识亲密关系,攸关我们每个人的幸福。本书既适合研究亲密关系的专业人士,能给他们带来启发与灵感,也适合每个想爱情甜蜜、婚姻长久、人生幸福的普通读者。
May 12, 2023 read
亲情友情爱情,即为亲密关系,是人际交往在一般人情之外涉及感情的部分。书中主要内容讲爱情与婚姻,少量涉及友情,在谈论依恋类型时稍稍涉及亲子教养。

这是一本美国大学精品课的教材,成书于2012,材料主要是2010年及以前的社会心理学研究。是十年前的前沿。

人是社会性动物,很难独活。想要有质量的生命,有质量的人际互动,亲密关系必不可少。书中从人的相互吸引,沟通了解,互相依赖,共同进退的亲密关系的这一系列过程,描绘出人类交往的复杂图景下,人们亲密关系的类别,特征,发展方式,影响因素。接着又把友谊、恋爱和婚姻做了具体的观察分析。

在介绍学术知识的同时,作者还注重引导读者,通过正确的思维去认识自己与他人的关系,通过有效的行动去扩展、延长、维持积极的关系,并修护受损的关系。

所有的言论都言之有据
心理学 人际关系 爱情 友情 婚姻
Cold Mountain (2003) WikiData IMDb TMDB Douban
Cold Mountain
★ 7.9 (406 ratings) director: Anthony Minghella actor: 裘德·洛 / 妮可·基德曼 …
other title: 亂世情天 / 冷山 …
In this classic story of love and devotion set against the backdrop of the American Civil War, a wounded Confederate soldier named W.P. Inman deserts his unit and travels across the South, aiming to return to his young wife, Ada, who he left behind to tend their farm. As Inman makes his perilous journey home, Ada struggles to keep their home intact with the assistance of Ruby, a mysterious drifter sent to help her by a kindly neighbor.
The Girl Next Door (2004)
The Girl Next Door
★ 6.1 (106 ratings) director: Luke Greenfield actor: Emile Hirsch / Elisha Cuthbert …
other title: 邻家女优 / 家有芳邻 …
Exceptionally ambitious high schooler Matthew has aspirations for a career in politics when he falls in love with his gorgeous 19-year-old neighbor, Danielle. But Matthew's bright future is jeopardized when he finds Danielle was once a porn star. As Danielle's past catches up with her, Matthew's love for her forces him to re-evaluate his goals.
City of Angels (1998) WikiData IMDb TMDB Douban
City of Angels
★ 7.4 (318 ratings) director: 布拉德·塞伯宁 actor: 尼古拉斯·凯奇 / 梅格·瑞恩 …
other title: 시티 오브 엔젤 / シティ・オブ・エンジェル …
When a guardian angel – who invisibly watches over the citizens of Los Angeles – becomes captivated by a strong-willed heart surgeon, he ponders trading in his pure, otherworldly existence for a mortal life with his beloved. The couple embarks on a tender but forbidden romance spanning heaven and Earth.
The Bodyguard (1992) WikiData IMDb TMDB Douban
The Bodyguard
★ 7.3 (194 ratings) director: 米克·杰克逊 actor: 凯文·科斯特纳 / 惠特尼·休斯顿 …
other title: 保镖 / 护花倾情(港) …
A former Secret Service agent grudgingly takes an assignment to protect a pop idol who's threatened by a crazed fan. At first, the safety-obsessed bodyguard and the self-indulgent diva totally clash. But before long, all that tension sparks fireworks of another sort, and the love-averse tough guy is torn between duty and romance.
The Phantom Lover (1995) WikiData IMDb TMDB Douban
夜半歌聲
★ 7.2 (176 ratings) director: 于仁泰 actor: 张国荣 / 吴倩莲 …
other title: 夜半歌声 / 夜半歌聲 …
In 1936 China, a nearly bankrupt drama troupe starts performing in a burned-out theater where the great actor Song Danping was killed. One of the actors, Wei Qing, starts seeing strange apparitions that could revive his troupe and deliver him to the same fate as Song Danping.